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Part 1
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I took every opportunity I
could to be at the bookstore after that night. The five of us had become quite
the family; sharing meals, shopping, and even working together at the bookstore
once in a while if the need arose. The closer my connection became with Theo,
the more I itched to ask him about his wife and his past. I had tamped down
that curiosity until one night when I was in the store alone with him. Sophie,
Vin and Milo were unloading stock and doing inventory.
“Theo. I’ve been curious
about something, but I haven’t wanted to impose.” I stopped what I was doing
and watched his face.
“I seriously doubt that with
as close as we have become, that you could ever offend me. Please, ask away.”
Theo took me by the hand and we sat on a couch near one of the towering
fireplaces.
“Well, I would kind of like
to know about your wife. What she was like and how she died.” I looked at him. For a brief moment, I saw a flash of pain in his eyes, but it was gone so fast
I thought I had imagined it. I rushed through my next sentence, “But I
completely understand if you don’t want to, I just was curious to know, if it’s
too painful I promise I won’t ask--”
He cut through my babbling,
smiled warmly and started to gush, “Oh, Lily. She was an amazing woman. She
cared for us so fully and so selflessly. I had never met anyone so truly
beautiful inside and out. She was modest and shy, but gave what little she
could offer. She volunteered at soup kitchens and homeless shelters when Milo
and Vin went to preschool. I was working at a newspaper press at that time, and
made just enough for us to get by.” He let out a deep sigh. “She made us feel
as rich as royalty, but I wanted to give her so much more. We were overjoyed
when we found out we were going to have another child. She became very ill in
the last month of her pregnancy and was made to stay at the hospital. One
night, she went into labor. It was all very hectic. I barely remember it, all
of it a blur now after all these years. One minute she is breathing through
contractions and next thing I know, I’m being pushed out of the delivery room
because of an emergency, so said the
nurse scooting me out the door. Then I remember them telling me my wife had
passed in childbirth. Her heart had simply given up they told me. At that
point, I had thought that my heart would give up too. She was my heart, Lily.”
Theo dabbed at his eye with
a monogrammed handkerchief that I hadn’t even seen him pull from his jacket
pocket; TT in blue embroidered script
on a corner.
“Oh Theo, I’m so sorry. What
was her name?” I leaned forward and set a hand on his knee.
He looked at me, eyes
glistening. “Lillian.”
“Oh. Well, that’s my full
name. Lillian. Milo never told me that.” I rubbed his knee, trying to provide
comfort as best as I could. “What about the baby?”
Theo froze slightly, and I
was worried I had already cut too deep, that he would be angry with me for
prodding. But he sighed and quietly said, “Gone.” He took a deep breath and
stood with a smile on his face. “And honestly, my dear Lily, I think that is
enough sadness for one night! Come, let me make you a cocoa.”
We walked to the coffee
cart, our conversation diverted to more cheerful topics.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Later that evening, Milo and
I walked up the block to eat dinner. As we sat across from each other, I
contemplated the question that had been picking at my brain. After we ordered,
I jumped on my concerns, just as I always had with Milo.
“Milo, why didn’t you tell
me your mom’s name was Lillian?”
He shifted in his chair. “I
don’t know. It’s so strange, you sometimes remind me of her. The pictures and
the little I can remember anyways. I don’t like to think about it, so I just
didn’t want to bring it up. I didn’t want to have a conversation about her.”
“Okay. No worries, we don’t
have to talk about her.” I changed topics quickly, not wanting to upset Milo. A
little banter would lighten the mood. “So… did you see any new books I might
fall in love with while you were working so hard on that inventory?”
I catalogued Milo’s response
about his mother to analyze later when I was home, but I kept the rest of our
evening light with our normal ribbing and playing around. I was happy when Milo
dropped me off at my apartment with a smile on his face.
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