Late Guest Blogger Post!

Sorry we’re so late today! A busy schedule and some technical difficulties on my side caused me some stress but it’s all worked out and now we’re home and I have time to handle my business! Today’s guest blogger Audrey is a good friend of mine, one of my best, and she loves to read and write as much as I do. She keeps her writing very much to herself and does not like to share, so I’m very pleased that she agreed to write a piece for my guest day. Be gentle, and enjoy!!

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Hello, when Kristy asked me to guest blog my initial reaction was shock that she asked and fear. What do I write? I suppose you could say I am one of the closet writers she spoke of. Very few, Kristy included, have read anything I’ve ever written. Between the fear of rejection and the fear of what if it is good, then what? If it’s bad then it’s “how do I improve?” Also, if it’s good, deciding where to go from there is scary.

I’ve been writing for years, for as long as I can remember. It was and still is an emotional outlet for me. I tend to write from an emotional stand point exclusively, so if it’s criticized I take it to heart even knowing it’s meant well. Yes, I know it’s not perfect and I’m sure it has errors a plenty (besides my typos that is) but to hear it voiced is like someone snapped my pencil or ripped the ribbon from my typewriter. (Told you I’ve been writing for years.)

I do believe the best advice I was ever given was that 1. Never give up. 2. Never give up. 3. Never give up. Yes, it’s redundant, but when hit with writer’s block it can’t be said enough. That is my biggest issue. Finding time to write or a subject matter is easy. Putting the thoughts and ideas in my head to paper in a cohesive matter just doesn’t also come so easily every time I sit to write.

With that said here goes nothing.

Ever have one of those nights where you just want to cry because no one understands you? That’s me tonight. I walk out the door and don’t care that I’m barely dressed and barefoot, I just need to get away. So I’m walking alone this cool night on the dark dreary road to nowhere. I’m so lost and alone. No one knows where I am, and no one cares, not even tonight. I don’t know this road, so lost in my thoughts I’ve lost track to where I have roamed.

As I near a bend in the road I see an old fence. As I near I realize I’ve come across a very old graveyard. My eyes on the old stones I feel drawn towards the dismal yet peaceful place. Before I realize it, I’m within the gates and sauntering through the aged stones and forgotten souls.

I come to a heap of what was once a magnificent headstone and as I sit down my thoughts turn to you. This place reminds me of you. Dark, alone, peaceful and seemingly untouchable, but wanting to be known and cared for. I see through the pain and anguish and know deep inside how scared and vulnerable you are, although I have yet to meet you.

I’m lost in my own thoughts and do not see your shadowed figure amongst the trees. As you stand and watch me, I search the skies for an answer and seek the stars through the clouds. My hair falls into my face. As I brush the hair back, the moonlight slips out from behind a cloud and you catch the tears in my eyes. You begin to come closer to me and you hear me speaking to myself and the wind.

“I just want to know why I’m here in this place at this time…For what reason have I been brought to this cemetery tonight? This night, the night I want to die?” As I speak these words you freeze where you stand, startled by what I have spoken to the cloudy sky above. I looked towards the ground as the tears begin to flow and you see my body shake with chills and heartache. I’m a lost soul begging to be taken into the ground below and for you; this is too much to bear.

You lay a hand to my shoulder and I do not stir, for I think and hope that Death has come to take me away from my pain. You squeeze my shoulder and I sigh and tilt my head to see into the eyes of Death, yet what I see startles me. I look into the deepest eyes of an unknown color and for that instant I go still. I faint and you catch me before I hit the rubble of the falling headstone.

I feel arms holding me tight; fingers caress my cheek and run through my long hair. I awake, still held by you, those intense eyes burning into me. I try to speak put you place a finger to my lips and say to the sky, “The clouds have cleared and there in the sky the stars and moon shine. That is why you are here; for me and the stars above.” I blink and blink yet again in disbelief of your words. Those eyes are intriguing and yet something about them scares me and arouses me at the same time.

I don’t know why but I reach for you and pull you close; I want to kiss you, I need to kiss you. I want to taste the lips of The One with eyes of indescribable color. Your hair blacker than the night and long as mine is silky and as I kiss you deeper and hold you close, I feel as if I’m being entranced with your eyes staring at me so intensely. I try to look away but I cannot. I have to stare back even though it seems as if you are looking through me and seeing into my soul, which I cannot see within your eyes.

A shiver goes through me and you wrap an arm tighter about me. I feel safe yet uneasy at the way you stare at me. There’s something dark behind your eyes and although it seems eerie, it’s comforting at the same time. It draws me in closer as the kiss deepens. You pull away, breaking the kiss and I whimper for more. It was as intense as your stare and I’m yours. I’ve been yours from the day I was put on this God forsaken earth and now I know you are the reason I have wandered into the cemetery this night.

You stand and pull me to my feet. As we walk through the dark domain of this burial ground which is ours for the night, you take me by the hand and I feel as if we are gliding among the aged stones. No words are spoken as we weave through the dead and my hand enclosed within yours speaks volumes. I know I am safe. I hold your hand tight and you feel cold to the touch. I press closer to you thinking you are chilled, giving no thought to how I myself may feel. I’m warm, it’s not a cold night-chilly yes-but not cold. It’s been a hot and humid day and for you to feel cold should be odd to me, yet it isn’t. Everything seems just as it should be.

I see that we are headed towards the largest mausoleum and as we climb the steps I begin to pull away. You still have my hand and as you pull me towards you, I look into those eyes and whatever feelings I had of running disappear. I join you as you climb the steps to the large marble doors. We enter and the dimly lit room is beautiful with marble and shimmering metals throughout. We enter and you pull me along to the center of the room, leading me to a beautiful sarcophagus. You then lift me up gently and set me upon it. You are standing between my legs and holding me with a stare that makes me melt every time while those eyes stare within my soul. Still, you seem empty as I peer into those eyes of such color I cannot portray with any words. There is emptiness deep within you and I hope that I may help fulfill such a void in some small way.

I lean to kiss you and you just brush my lips slightly and a hand caresses my cheek. My head tilts and I sigh. This seems so right; the touch of your cold hand warms my soul and heart, which I had thought could not be touched. You can touch my heart and that frightens me. I shiver; you think it’s the cold and wrap your arms about me. You rest your face against my chest with my chin upon your head. I’m content and safe, a feeling I have longed for for a long time. Now, tonight, here in what I thought was a dismal place, has become not the place I wish to die but the place I wish to remain alive and with you.

I have yet to speak and just as I’m about to, you kiss me. Lips to lips, arms around one another, and an intimacy of knowing one another for a lifetime although we met this very night. Kisses so sweet and so tender its hypnotic. For the first time my eyes close and I give myself fully to your kiss. You continue as I sway and you hold me close, a hand in my hair, one on my back. As you slip your tongue within my lips and as your tongue touches mine, my eyes fly open. It’s electric. The feelings of our tongues are entangled with one another. Your eyes gazing into mine, I see my blue green eyes reflected back at me. In that instant, I realize you are not merely a man. A man yes, but so much more and yet so much less. 

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This is just half of what Audrey submitted to me. I wanted to give her piece fair and thorough editing, so due to the time constraints I had today, I will be releasing the other half another day. I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for the rest of this piece and next week's guest blogger. 

Thanks for stopping by!