Being a primary caregiver to a child with Type 1 Diabetes is hard, I don't think anyone would argue that. I do my best not to complain, not to let it overcome me. Some days that's impossible.
Today is 4 days with little sleep. Night one was drastic lows. Nights 2-4 were big highs and adjusting insulin constantly. With his monitor alarming me every time he was above or below certain numbers, then working all day... it made for a difficult week.
Yesterday I started a bad head cold (one of the "pros" on my pro/con list of homeschooling-no more foreign germies!!). Stress and lack of sleep mess with my immune system, and basically 100% of the time stress manifests itself as colds or body aches and pains for me.
Today is a bad day. Not every day is like this, and it won't always be like this, but today is a bad day.
For me, lack of sleep is also the main trigger of my depression and anxiety. If I get my 7-9 hours every night, I'm good to go and rarely suffer from them. But this week has been anywhere from 3-5 hours solidly any of those 4 nights. So I took a sick/mental health day. Today I'm holed up in my bedroom, in my jammies, cuddling the kittens, eating snacks (both healthy and then not so much healthy) and watching shows and writing and crying at toilet paper commercials. I've had much worse days of depression and much MUCH worse days of anxiety. But it's still not any fun.
Tomorrow will be a better day, and most likely the next too. And some time, probably soon, I will have a bad day again. But it's not always going to be bad. Once in a while I just have to eat crap food and watch a Sister Wives marathon and think how wonderful it is to have only one husband and one child and how that is more than enough to keep me busy.
So I apologize for not being a good friend today. I'm sorry for shortened conversations, lack of interest in you and lack of communication in general. Not every week will be like this one, I promise!
Today is a bad day. I will allow myself to have a bad day. It makes me appreciate the good days that much more.
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