Running for President

Brain Dump Election 2020

 

Here it is; my semi-regular brain transfer/upload/reconciliation attempt. I have thoughts, and if you’re reading this you’re well aware of that. These are all my opinions and observances. It’s hard for me to organize these in a way that flows or has continuity, so I will do my best. I’m not even sure where to begin. Let me also begin by saying that I ABSOLUTELY differentiate Trump supporters and Republicans; a person can be one, both, or neither of those things. I believe deep in my soul that there is a distinct difference, especially if there are Reps close to your friend circle and you’re more left.

I’m having a hard time understanding what, at the time of this typing, 67.6M people found so compelling and convincing about Trump’s last four years. It’s strictly my opinion, but it seems to me that he’s only mostly been a failure.

I have read about some executive orders he’s signed that seem like they’re well-intentioned, but I also find incredibly hard to believe he masterminded. He has not painted himself as an incredibly intelligent man; mind you, I understand that people will fight this and claim you cannot become president without some intelligence, but I will counterpart with the fact that one can appear intelligent with the correct combination of charm and manipulation. I’m too cold and bitter to fall for these persuasions.

I’m trying to hack the psychology behind these voting behaviors, but without a willing victim-I mean, Trump supporter- to talk to me, I’m merely postulating at this point. One of my theories is that it’s a combination of laziness and pressure to be a part of the process. The need to do something because everyone has been screaming “VOTE VOTE VOTE” combined with the lack of knowledge-or motivation to retrieve knowledge-that drove people to the polls with the mindset of “I’ve always voted red” or “My parents are Republicans so I am too.” This is kind of sad. Voting blindly means you have no conviction behind your vote-and I mean that for Democrats too. It means you aren’t voting with an open mind to possibly changing your past stances or that you don’t have enough information to guide you to the right candidates.

Another theory I have is along the lines of the first with people voting Republican just for Republican’s sake, assumptions that Republicans will always line up with their religious beliefs or treat people the way the voter would treat other people. It’s my observation that many Trump supporters will have us think that they represent a faithful, superior moral ground in appearance, but on paper and in words all I can hear is wealth over well-being, economy over equality, and money over mindfulness.

I’m going to rapid-fire touch on some misconceptions I’ve seen Trump supporters spout about Biden/Democrats and give a little response. It’s scary to think that they are voting based on these, presumably without thinking it through and doing research. PS. I’ve researched Biden’s platforms fairly thoroughly, but I’m not perfect. These statements are based on my personal research and my opinions of these through my “lefter” eyes. TS=Trump Supporters

One: Guns

TS: They want to take our guns and banish the 2^nd amendment.

Me: Nope. They want to offer a VOLUNTARY (that means of your own free will) buy back of automatic assault rifles (not sure about other guns). They want to tighten guidelines and mental health checks for the ability to buy guns. Now, in case we’re forgetting, guns are a deadly weapon. People kill other people with them. In my honest opinion, if you’ve nothing to hide and you’re honorable in your intentions with gun use, why the push back to simply allow for mental stability when buying something with this magnitude of potential destruction? They take away people’s vehicle license when not mentally stable enough to drive, a vehicle also potentially being an instrument of fatal destruction if not used properly.

Two: Healthcare

TS: They’re socialists! They want everyone to have the same healthcare!

Me: No. They want everyone to have access to free or affordable healthcare based on their financial abilities and desire to work within the free healthcare system. WITH THE OPTION OF PRIVATE HEALTHCARE. Listen, this topic is my jam and I’m basically an expert. I’ve been told many times I should be an ombudsman but I don’t think I’d have the patience. I have so many thoughts on this subject I could spend a day on this alone, but here’s the basics. If people want to pay $1500+ per month for health insurance for their family, have at it. They’re going to get the same medical treatment as people on free insurance, the peripheral options will just look a little different. For another thing, what the hell is the problem wealthy people have with the common, tax-paying citizen having medical care without going into crippling debt? Personal health and medical care are not a bargaining tool, are not rights reserved only for people of wealth, and are a basic human right. Seeking medical attention should not be a luxury. People should not choose between cancer treatments or insulin and death because of financial reasons. It is selfish and cruel and I will stop because I am going to start to hurt people’s feelings.

Three: Women’s rights

TS: PRO LIFE! Ban abortions! Overturn Roe v Wade! My tax dollars won’t pay for abortions because I don’t believe in them!

Me: Women’s personal health shouldn’t be discussed in a political setting ever, and anyone’s religious beliefs, while I believe to be valid, can still suck a toe when it comes to interfering with the lives of women they don’t even know. Period. It’s between a woman, her doctor, and God. If you’re not one of those, bug off. Fully grown humans are not being taken care of in this country; immigrant children separated from their parents, the foster care/child services system overrun with children, homeless-citizens AND vets, unemployed, disenfranchised, etc…. and you expect the government to protect a ball of cells without a heartbeat, brain, any functioning organs, etc before those people based on something that is generally and inevitably religion-related? No sir.

Your tax dollars will never pay for abortions because it is AGAINST THE LAW. Quite literally, your tax dollars cannot pay for abortions. But here is what happens when you defund and close down Planned Parenthood…

You give women no safe options to end pregnancies, therefore putting their lives in danger. They are forced to either have a child they don’t want (putting a child in danger or into the system) or potentially cause themselves more harm by finding alternative more dangerous methods. Forcing people to have unwanted children while also ignoring the foster care system in this country makes absolutely zero sense.

Planned parenthood also provides birth control-stop the baby before it starts! If someone is pro-life, anti-birth control, and pro-abstinence….. oh boy. They’re ignorant and archaic as well. Take off your clothes and put on a loin cloth because you’ve literally set yourself back to the cavemen. Or more likely, Adam and Eve.

They also provide cancer screenings, regular checkups, and so many other things. They are privately funded and also I believe they receive non-government grants and donations.

So yay, mission accomplished in stopping abortions, but you’ve also stopped a lot of women from receiving routine and preventative care in the process—none of which your tax dollars pay for.

Four: Bringing us to religion

TS: BIBLE! COMMANDMENTS! CHERRY-PICKED BIBLE VERSED TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT TO SUPPORT MY UNWELCOME POLITICAL AGENDA!

Me: Religion is often used as a way to fill holes in our psyche for what we don’t know for fact or don’t understand. There is 100% nothing wrong with this unless someone is so deeply rooted in the particulars of that religion that they begin justifying a lack of common sense and use it to overshadow compassion for fellow human beings and how others choose to live and what others believe. Religion is a belief system, and one that is not uniform across all citizens of this country. Government cannot rule based on religious foundations (re: marriage rights, women’s rights, equality, abortion, POC, etc) because it will not apply to everyone who is governed here. I don’t feel a person can treat others equally if they can’t accept that their religious views are not shared by everyone around them.

Faith can be a beautiful thing; it can guide people down a cleaner path, it can fill a hole once filled with toxins (drugs, relationships, alcohol, etc), and it can bring people together. But if it rules a person’s entire being, it can blind them to allowing people around them to experience their own journey without interference.

Now on the other side of this there are organizations and copycat factions of these larger organizations that solely exist to prey on people with something missing, who are looking for something, who are hurting and weak and needy. It is far easier for these orgs to manipulate people when they are vulnerable and use them as political puppets. I’m not sure what the actual statistics are in this scenario, but I’d lay my life down that they exist.

Five: Mental Health!

TS: If you do the crime, you deserve the consequences. Just be happy. Don’t be depressed! Suicide is selfish!

Me: Big, big sighs. There’s a lot to unpack here. White privilege, wealth privilege, healthcare/support privilege, and so much more.

Let’s start with crime. I’m willing to bet most crimes that happen fall within certain topics; mental health issues and financial hardships are going to be what I talk about, but I’m sure there are others. So, one of my major platform issues is mental health support in the US; financially, professionally, physically, etc…. all lacking and letting down the people in our country. I do believe that police do play a part in the escalation of this, but I’ll get to the police force later. I fully believe that if we either play a bigger part along the way in recovering people from mental illness or respond to dire situations from a mental health standpoint instead of a law enforcement standpoint, we’d be doing a lot better overall. While mental health is a component, financial hardship sometimes drives people to do uncharacteristic things when they get desperate. This circles around to homelessness, drug involvement, financial deprivation, and tax issues, which I’ll cover later.

Next up, depression and anxiety. This lies alongside healthcare and should be bundled in with that. It really needs to be normalized to seek help, and it should be free: medications, therapy, inpatient treatment, etc. and here’s why I think that. If you fight mental instability at the source, both treating existing issues and preventative actions, I deeply believe many other issues will see at least partial resolution or a dramatic drop in statistics. This includes domestic violence, child abuse, mass shootings, suicides, and more. Just because someone has been through trauma or has a chemical imbalance does not mean they lack value or are undeserving of quality care and support.

Mental health is the foundation for so many issues later on in life. If we funnel money into education (later), poverty, and mental health starting from birth, I feel like it would catapult us into a more tolerant, accepting, and healthy future.

Six: Education

TS: I’m not even 100% sure what their stance is on this. All I know that Conway being in charge of it said a lot.

Me: Fund it. Overfund it. Pay teachers what they FUCKING DESERVE. And if I hear one “glorified babysitter” comment, I’ll refer you to all the BS I saw plastered all over the internet when people couldn’t handle it themselves during quarantine. Be your own glorified babysitter then. And this is coming from a parent who pulled her kid from public school. Because I understand how difficult it was for them to give Will what he needed with the limited resources they had.

The other positive to this is that there are less children falling through the cracks, more attention to learning disabilities and mental/emotional hurdles, and there are so many upsides from supporting well-educated, emotionally stable people in low income communities.

Seven: Taxes/Economy

TS: I can’t live if you raise my taxes! Unemployment! Stock Market!Pork Bellies!

Me: Okay, clearly this isn’t my area of expertise, nor is it my greatest area of interest, but I’ll do my best.

From what I understand Biden only wants to raise taxes on people who make more than $400,000/year or more. Now, it’s also been my experience that those complaining about that tax hike CLEARLY don’t make $400k or more. Zip it. If people barely able to pay their basic bills are taxed at a relative rate to their income, people who make more should do the same. Someone tell me how poor people paying more taxes than rich people, who can more than afford to pay taxes, makes any sense at all. That’s elitism and it’s disgusting and they should be ashamed of themselves. Yes, it’s from the NYT, and yes I understand that some people don’t see that as a legitimate source but for one, I’ve seen this graph in many places and it’s basic public information you can look up, for two the rich and greedy don’t want you to see this chart no matter where it’s posted, and for three, go lick a metal pole in the middle of a snow storm if you don’t like it.

 

 

Side note: Even DACA participants pay taxes and they’re treated like garbage.

Unemployment is up, and I understand that the pandemic contributed greatly to that, but the pandemic also contributed to more than 230k deaths in the US. That is almost 20% of the total deaths in the world. I don’t like how the pandemic was handled. I think if we had immediately locked down in the beginning and been very strict, we would have a little more freedom now. Other countries instituted things like curfew, non essential travel, mortgage and rent freezes, food/essential stipends weekly or monthly, and strict testing protocols. We have the highest rate of cases in the world daily with no slowing down. What the pandemic showed me is that most people care more about “rights” and nationalism than about other humans……

Random category: Underprivileged areas. Firstly, hit hard by the pandemic. Help them out. From what I’ve heard, Trump has done some things to try and address this; again, as far as I know it’s not his engineering-everything is a publicity stunt with him as far as I’m concerned. Take care of them. We all know there are a lot of POC in low income places-by effed up supremacist design-so do something about it. Create jobs, rehab programs, adult education programs, housing, and specialty programs for single parents. Fund mental health and criminal reform in those areas and build them up. They are angry because they are IGNORED. They are undervalued, and they are criminalized based on the color of their skin and it is OUR fault as a nation that they are so angry. We need to take care of them. This would lead to the reduction of law enforcement vs POC incidents and more harmonious communities. This would lead to economic growth in those areas. The children coming out of those areas will be educated and ready to contribute to society in healthy and wonderful ways. I see no negatives here.

Eight: Nationalism vs. Democracy

TS: Wearing a mask violates my rights. You’re a Biden supporter, you don’t even have an American flag in your yard, how can you be American? (Yes I heard that said to someone). 2^nd amendment!

Me: I saw you wear a scarf all winter, Drama Queen, get over it.

Here’s how it is; Nationalism: identification with one's own nation and support for its interests, especially to the exclusion or detriment of the interests of other nations.

First, refriend all our allies. Apologize. Send them chocolates and flowers.

TS are fighting for their “rights” based on the ‘Murica mindset-the idea that we are the greatest nation above all nations and we are awesome; they think anyone can live here as long as they look like them and speak like them. They worship the flag and the sitting President without regard to the feelings of others. I have questions.

Why are the rights of women and any minority less important than the white Republicans that fight so hard for the right not to wear a mask? Why do people keep saying they’re being discriminated against when they don’t wear a mask when literally anyone I’ve ever seen use that comment is the least oppressed person on the planet? Why do they idolize the current president? Why do they punk out in every interview or look like total idiots? Why won’t TS answer questions or provide anything to back up their claims?

For a country based on “give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses….” How far we have fallen. Give them to me as long as they have a green card, as long as they are able to be controlled, as long as they have less rights than people who were born here, as long as they speak English…. It’s become the land of stipulations in my opinion. It can’t be claimed that we are Land of Opportunities, and then make it impossible to become a citizen for anyone enticed by the chance of making it a reality. Double standards. The Land of Double Standards. Give me your white, your men, your offshore masses….

Nine: Law enforcement

TS: Anarchy! No police? Insane? Who will put out the fire at your house (yep, I saw that one) or help you when you need it?

Me: Nope, that’s not it. Defund the police is the worst wording for the best plan I’ve ever heard in my life. All it means is dumping less money into local police units (why do they fundraise AND get so much money???) and spreading out more into mental health, drug and alcohol, domestic dispute/violence, child abuse, and warrant response teams. There is no way a police officer can remember or institute all of the many different approaches to handling so many varied non-violent incidents. If a department can have a SWAT team, a meth team, and many other specialized units, why should there not be specialized mental health/psychological response teams? Other places have implemented it and I’ve seen it working. It’s pretty incredible actually. It leads to more people receiving help they need and less people getting thrown in jail with no rehabilitation or support to change their lives. If anything, we are trying to take some of the stress and pressure OFF police departments to respond to things they may not be equipped for. You don’t send an officer in to do a surgery or arrange flowers….maybe don’t send them into a situation where a drug expert or psychologist would be better suited for the role, leaving the officer free to handle things they are needed for and probably well-suited for.

I have a lot of random things that my brain is trying to process.

As a person who is severely empathetic, it’s difficult for me to understand why people don’t get it.

It’s an American’s right to live happily, peacefully, and in such a manner that creates joy in their life. Pursuit of happiness, right? As a country created on a religious base by people who owned slaves and refused women and anyone not a white man any sort of rights, the foundation is antiquated.

Basics?

It is possible to maintain your beliefs and NOT go out of your way to make other people’s lives more difficult because they don’t think the same way as you do. Love thy neighbor? Well that includes if they belong to ANY group that’s opposite your belief system. You don’t need to BE gay, you don’t need to have POC friends, you don’t have to support abortion BUT; you don’t need to stop gay people from living their best lives-let God judge them because if you’re wrong, God will know sweetheart. You don’t need to let POC get killed by police regularly, or call the police if they’re walking down the street or call them anything but ‘excuse me please.’ You can discuss abortion with the women in your life and reconcile it with them within your relationship if you disagree, but you don’t have to make it dangerous and difficult for every woman to get one. We’re asking you to literally do the very least possible to inconvenience other people. Voting for extreme right Republicans won’t do a single thing to make the average Republican citizen’s life easier, but it could make a whole lot of people’s lives a lot more devastating.

 

Installing people like Donald Trump, Amy Coney Barrett, and Brett Kavanaugh indirectly sends a message that there are certain people who’s rights don’t matter to the administration. I got the message.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t address character. I’m not sure why this seems to be so overlooked in the TS community. I’m not going to site sources, but everything he does is Google-able and things he has said on his Twitter or you can see on video directly saying it from his very own face. He speaks to people in a way that wouldn’t be okay if it was your wife, daughter, mother, etc. He disrespects people on a level I’ve never seen tolerated by a government official in my entire life. And he’s never held accountable. TS will say it was taken out of context, or worse, he never said it at all when there is clearly video proof of him saying it. This is gaslighting. We have been gaslit for four years. We are not crazy, we are not hearing things or making things up, we are not blowing things out of proportion, we are not trying to turn anything around. There are legitimate offensive things said by this man on a regular basis that people would never allow their family members to say or have said to them. I truly can’t comprehend that. I think I would like to take anyone to task and say Google something like “the worst things Trump has said,” and go say them to a family member. If you’d be too embarrassed or offended or afraid of offending, it’s time to think about why this man has been idolized.

 

 

Electoral College!

Ditch it. Popular vote only. Ranking system; if your #1 doesn’t get a certain percentage of the vote your #2 gets your vote counted instead of your vote disappearing forever. Campaign fundraising caps. Time restraints (Ireland’s election season is only 6 weeks long-they’re not allowed to campaign outside of that!). Equal voting among all parties, not just bipartisan hoarding.

Republicans are a dying breed. The ideals and platforms are outdated and useless in our modern world where the younger generation are far more observant and accepting of their sexuality, identity, and their difference. Watch out for the 18-25 year olds, they’re changing the narrative.

 

Socialism. Nobody I’ve talked to wants direct socialism. Socialist Democracy maybe, not socialism. We can take care of our own without redistributing wealth. But also don’t destroy people’s lives for capitalism. Google Democratic Socialism and get what information you need. Capitalism is destroying us; personally, professionally, ethically, and morally.

 

Housekeeping;

Free education, student loan forgiveness, free credit score improvement training and support. 

There is so much more; global warming, voter suppression, racism/white supremacy, Paris Treaty, China relations, Russia disaster (nothing in particular, it’s all a disaster), Trump’s obsession with people spying on him (narcissistic behaviors), farming, sustainable energy, space, abortion tracking alongside EHR (to deter and prevent women using abortion as birth control), equality in government, etc…..

Whew. There’s a lot here. I’m not saying it’s easy to be president, but I am saying it’s easy to have grace and dignity, it’s easy to be kind and compassionate, it’s easy to have respect and loyalty to the citizens of the country-not the money of the citizens. I haven’t seen any of this from Trump. Not a bit.

 

We need something different. I don’t know if Joe Biden is it, but I guarantee we’ll feel loved and cared for. We’ll feel heard and important to him. We’ll be able to breathe a little more. Our friends and loved ones will be able to love who they want, unencumbered. The women we are and the women we love will have access to what they need, whatever that entails. People of color will see more respect and be heard by a nation that has proven by the majority that we do care about them. Anyone will be able to identify as the gender or non-gender that makes them feel comfortable in their skin-a right anyone is entitled to! It doesn’t have to be democrat or republican, but it does have to be respectful.

 

I desperately want people to put themselves in the shoes of people who are not like them, who do not agree with them, and who can’t be heard loud enough. The majority of us have not politically suffered. Let me say that again- HAVE. NOT. SUFFERED. I haven’t battled in war for my rights. I haven’t been bullied for who I love or what gender I identify with or what pronoun I want to use or what the color of my skin is. I haven’t been afraid to walk down the street in the middle of the day, in danger of overzealous bigots calling the police because I don’t look like them. I. HAVE. NOT. SUFFERED. Our ancestors suffered so there would no longer be slavery and so women could vote and have rights and so we could do all the things we do today, without fear. If our “suffering” is wearing a mask for a year or so when we want to leave our house and if our “suffering” is four years with an overly spray tanned crass bigot so that we can make progress, so we could see where we’re messing up, so we can become a better nation then…. Let. Me. Suffer. Let me suffer for the people who already have-now-just to live the life that makes them happy. Let me suffer and fight and cast my vote for those who need to be heard. I will gladly fight to make it right for those who have been wronged. And I think that’s the difference between the extreme Trump supporters and most decent people.

 

Glad to discuss with anyone respectfully, glad to hear other ideas.

 

Ellsworth 2028 LOL!

 

Pandemics are Aggravating

This entire ordeal is stupid. I'm just going to start out with that. It's stupid like when a perfectly wonderful lovely healthy person is diagnosed with cancer, stupid like a woman who has been trying for years to get pregnant has a miscarriage, stupid like a competent intelligent person losing their job because they were the last one hired. It's stupid because there just isn't a good enough word to describe hundreds of thousands of people dying without a good cause. (Ripe old age is the only good cause in my book)

First, let me just say I'm a Type 1 Diabetes mom, an ADHD mom, and an autism mom. I have worked as a medical transcriptionist and a medical biller. I'm not an "expert" so to speak, but I have common sense, experience, and knowledge in my brain to find the right answers to the things I don't know, especially when it comes to medical situations. 

Second, this is my blog, my thoughts, and my perspective. You don't have to agree with it, you don't have to think I'm right, but you do have to respect me. 

Third, this is in no particular sequence or organization; it's basically a collection of my journalistic musings for the duration of quarantine to this point. I've Marie Kondo'ed the shit out of my life. It's a deep cleaning of the inner corners of these rough last 70+ days. I'm not sure simply scrubbing out things that don't bring you joy is always a healthy thing, but I think for now, it is. 

I took a break from FB for a while and wrote this thing and just decided to post it today. I admit I got sucked into the hate hole of FB comment sections and while I generally now am respectful when posting my passionate responses, I had gotten to a point where I wasn't eloquent or kind anymore. (BTW, swearing can be eloquent when used properly)

If I've been belligerent or unpleasant on anyone's post regarding this, I apologize. I also feel like I'm probably not alone in that irritating feeling bubbling just under your skin; constantly on the haunches, ready for battle. Fight or flight at its finest in what is probably a pretty appropriate situation for it to brew. My biggest hopes for releasing this intimate and personal look into my brain is one; to cleanse my soul and start fresh. Two; hopefully articulate some feelings maybe other people are having that either can't be worded or are too vague to put your finger on. 

To be frank, this contains unsavory language, harsh truths, a little humor, and this woman's opinions. 

This virus is like a terrible narcissistic boyfriend; making you think you're crazy, convincing you that you're making things up to fit your preferred narrative, never telling you if it's going to kill someone. The thing is facts are facts and feelings are feelings. Between the anxiety of this virus and the willy-nilly of social media, people tend to toss them in a bag and mix them up, often pulling out one in place of another. 

I can only proceed as I know. And what I do know is that it's really scary when my son is sick. We have no idea how CV would affect him if he were to catch it. I don't really care what everyone else is thinking or feeling about how we handle things, all I care about is that it's my responsibility to keep him alive, to act appropriately for his protection, and to hold people around us to that standard if they want to participate in our lives. 

I know a lot of people have been agitated, frustrated, and fed up with lock-down stuck with their families. It's helped us. We have grown as a family unit and learned a lot about each other in this phase of our lives. Ken and I are heading into our 40s and Will is a teenager; we're all just doing our best to navigate it and having this time to explore that has knitted our relationships closer together and taught us to communicate more effectively. Now, don't get me wrong. There have been screaming matches, groundings, sleeping on couches. It's not all been pretty, but it's been real and it's been educational. 

I do not subscribe to herd immunity when it comes to this virus. The things we need to be immune to that could really kill us, we were vaccinated for when we were children. Have you had polio? Measles? Mumps? Bubonic plague? (okay, that's stretching, but my point's been made) Our families would not suffer every year from pink eye, common cold, bronchitis, head colds, allergies, etc., if there were herd immunity to that, which makes the argument of "sheltering in place is hurting our immunity to other colds and viruses" invalid. 

Pet peeve: People skewing numbers to fit their narrative. 

Fact: About 61,000 people were killed from the 2017-2018 flu season. That was 19 weeks.

Fact: 34,157 people died from the 2018-2019 seasonal flu. That was 21 weeks.

Fact: In the US, 100,000+ people were killed from Feb/Mar to May, about 12 weeks.

How does that add up to Fact: the seasonal flu kills more people than this is????? It's not even done, guys! It's like hold my beer, I got more damage to do!

I know this is a weird yardstick, but I feel like the same people who are deniers will be more impacted by a statistic like this: 19+ actors, directors, writers, singers, songwriters, and other celebrities have been killed by this virus in 3 months. Many more have fallen seriously ill and have lifelong repercussions if they do manage to survive. How many famous people die every year from the seasonal flu? I don't have that number, so if anyone does, please share it with me, I'd love to know. 

Masks work. Period. We wouldn't force our doctors to wear them for surgeries and other procedures if they didn't. I have read a LOT about this, past and present information. There are a million research studies on masks and their effective capacity and I'm not going to bore you with that here. Go look it up. Use a GOOD source. One thing that seems largely agreed upon is that people can be asymptomatic and carrying the virus for up to 2 weeks, which is why the masks are an important element of protection. Many people can carry it without even knowing and that means it branches out forever until people way in the outer circles of acquaintance and beyond start contracting the disease. 

Mental health, dude. I've pretty much gotten my anxiety handled, but this virus has me stressed. I cry randomly-when the delivery dudes take snacks or whatnot from the cooler out front I leave so they have something to get them through their day, that makes me cry. When I think about people dying alone because their families can't be by their side, I cry. I try to balance between taking things seriously and feeling the things deeply and distracting myself so I don't spiral into an irretrievable abyss of anguish. I oscillate between "handling this shit" and "what is happening?" daily, sometimes hourly. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this. So what have I been doing to stop the insanity? Helping Will with new curriculum and balancing spending time with him and giving him space (that's hard!). I'm in two book clubs, reading about 3 books every 2 weeks. I craft, do puzzles, watch tv, became a professional jewel artist, and spent many hours in front of my piano keyboard trying to learn Piano Man. I've been eating some days really good and some days everything in the house, but have successfully lost 8 pounds. Coming out of quarantine lookin like a snack, y'all. Also, Tiktok. Not to post, but to watch. Do it. 

The statement (used suspiciously as a veiled insult): "Well of course you support the quarantine, your life isn't any different now than it was before." Well, you can go ahead and fuck yourself then. We had anxiety about leaving the house before this even started, so duh, this is absolutely a freakin cakewalk for us and eases our anxious souls for sure. Get the hell out of here with that statement; that condescending, holier-than-thou statement. 

I think people are putting their faith too blindly in what the media says-not to be confused with the phrase "fake news" because that makes me want to throat punch people, but because the media are so carefully wording things to protect themselves, that the public can take whatever they want and run with it.

What's happening is that scientists are doing the research and because the public's appetite for information is so ravenous, they're releasing their data without much or any peer review. What you're then seeing is that the original researcher is getting "roasted" by their peers, a process that is generally civilly done via meetings, emails, and telephone conversations. This is causing the public to have conflicting information and causing them to argue among themselves because their trust in science wavers, even though it's a process that's been happening for years, albeit privately. The advice then changes based on the progression of findings, which is normally released after all the debating and proving/disproving is completed. But now, the population is losing trust in all of this because the process they don't usually see is being laid out through the eyes of the media.

The general reality is there isn't enough research or data to give any sort of sound medical advice so the administration is flailing on trying to protect people while also affording them their civil rights. People are more tied up in either trying to provide for their families or trying to fight their way back into their "rights" to do as they please freely than they are in the harsh reality of what's going on, and that's so conflicting that it's causing a lot of frustration. Someone's right to be free doesn't also afford them the right to be flippant with other people's lives. 

The glaring and disappointing reality is that enough of the general population either can't afford not to work or don't care enough about others to do anything to protect each other. Which is why there will be wave after wave until people learn more and enough sound research is done by scientists to find a cure or a vaccine.

Morgues are filled with perfectly healthy 30-40 year old adults who have died from this, so it's no longer a point that only compromised individuals are at risk.

The plague and the Spanish flu resolved eventually, as will this. I will gladly lose a comfortable free year or two of my life now to get 50 more later with my family. That being said, our government and our fellow Americans need to come together to make that happen.

I 100% believe that if our government were better equipped and competent at crisis response, people would be much more comfortable sheltering in place. Instead, people are not receiving stimulus checks or unemployment; struggling to pay bills, put food on the table, and small businesses are drowning which equates to them having no other choice than to take risks otherwise unnecessary. I'm no economist by far, but my instincts tell me that if we had worried less about bailing out big corporations and paying for a certain person's continuous golf outings, we would be better equipped to bail out individual families and small businesses to make sure all the citizens are fed and comfortable while keeping themselves and each other safe. I don't think many of us who are arguing among ourselves are actually angry with each other, I think we're furious with a government that has let us down. We are the closest thing within reach to unleash our fears, anger, and frustration upon, so there it lies. We need to redirect that to our government for not being adequately prepared, for not quickly acting to contain the situation, for not putting human life above all else, for letting the bottom dollar rule, and for being willing to sacrifice the people to keep the almighty dollar pulsing through the veins of our elitist politicians and millionaires.

Opening restaurants is probably going to bring on the second wave of deaths. People have to wear masks in order to protect each other in public, but then you're going to let them take those off in a public place and masticate, breathe, talk, and touch a million things at a restaurant? Doesn't that sound germy and gross without a virus going on? (that's this germophobe's opinion, it's absolutely okay if you disagree with it). If you're going to catch something, this is the place to do it. 

Nobody cares more or less than anyone else per se, but our priorities are different. We care about things differently, which makes them more important to us than they would be to someone else. That's okay, there's no need to justify it, argue about it, or even defend it if you don't want to. Make peace with having your own priorities and knowing that they aren't the same as everyone else.

I've realized that as much as I want to and have yelled and pouted that others are rude or selfish if they don't want to wear masks, I've convinced myself I'm not responsible for their actions, only mine (to be clear, I KNOW this is how it works, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves). I don't necessarily need to make people believe what I believe, but I do think that open minds make the world a better place. I've picked and kept the people in my life for a reason; they want to get me, want to understand why I do things the way I do, they respect my decisions and feelings. I've realized it's okay to let go of people if they don't agree with your core values. There's a hard line between judging someone for what they believe and letting go of someone who fundamentally disagrees with how you want to live your life. These values are what attract you and bond you to people in the first place, and as life surely goes, those can change over time. Release the people who don't respect those core values. It doesn't have to be hostile, just a simple, "I don't think we're in the same place in life right now and some things you are saying are a dealbreaker for me." We are a generation hellbent on instilling in our children to walk away from relationships that contradict your important beliefs or where you can't fully be yourself. Why would we accept these in our friendships let alone our love relationships?

People have gotten weird. Am I going to continue to judge people? Welllll.....I'm going to try my hardest not to, but if you, say, intentionally spit, cough, or sneeze at people and say you have Covid even if you don't, I will definitely view you as a terrorist on a very minor scale. And I will judge you not because I'm a Judge Judy, but because it says a lot about who you are as a person and what kind of respect (or lack of) you have for other people's personal space. And those are the people that make me happy to stay put. If you don't want me to live in fear, don't be a scary friggin bully. 

Guys, it's okay to feel whatever you have to feel during this. Relish it, bathe in it, dwell in it for now if you must. Don't let it linger for too long and don't let it rule everything. If you're scared, be it. If you're angry, be it. If you believe this is the rapture and we're all gonna die, if you believe the masks work or not, if you believe staying home saves lives, if you believe the world needs to get back to normal, if you believe you need to get back with all your people and have a good time, go ahead. But you better be crystal effing clear what the people around you are feeling and respect their boundaries and beliefs. That's a life lesson, not just a quarantine lesson....two for the price of one. 

And be gentle with yourselves. Remember school at home is different than homeschooling. I've said it a million times and I'll say it a million more. What you're doing is rough. We don't do things that way! What we do is much more natural, flowing, and suited specifically to our child and their routine and schedule. There's no right or wrong way to parent during this; screen time or not, strict schedule or Lord of the Flies, clean house or messy house... it's all good as long as you're all safe and healthy and happy. 

As for me and my home? We're going to do what feels comfortable and what makes us feel safe. We're going to take things as we have all along; day by day. We might social distance for the next year, who knows? We're prepared for it, and we whole-heartedly and deeply appreciate any single person who has in any capacity given us the grace and peace to make it possible for us to do what makes us feel safe and comfortable.

Be smart friends. Ultimately we just want to be with the people we love without empty chairs when this is all said and done.