I always try to lift my son up and boost his ego while still maintaining humility.
You look awesome/cool/handsome.
You did a great job!
You used good manners.
Etc....
What we have to understand is that kids can see how you perceive yourself, even when you don't realize what your own thoughts are. It only took a couple of times for my son to call me out before I caught on to him.
I remember one day saying something about how I felt chubby or something in an outfit I was wearing and Will said to me; 'You look beautiful Mommy.' Besides melting my heart, he also made me realize that I have to change my own perceptions and accept myself for who I am; imperfections and all. I may not 'live up' to what I think should be right, but I'm enough for him, and that is enough for me.
It's okay to set goals for yourself, try to be the best and healthiest you can be, but instead of shaming ourselves, we should be praising ourselves for the good job we are doing in the meantime. It's okay to teach our kids to be proud of who they are and of every effort they put in to being the best version of themselves. And if they can see us with pure innocent eyes, we should allow ourselves to look in the mirror and see the same thing!
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